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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Unfolding, growing, playing, then exhaling (some).

Thank you all for your personal stories and support over the last year. I'm happy to announce the final stages of a huge project are about to unfold, and I'd like to invite you to become a part of it.

FIRST, this blog will soon be migrated over to the new online community at The Wordslinger. Please join the community and start your own (free) blog - simply enter your email address to join, or if you prefer, post and read anonymously. The Wordslinger community provides a sanctuary for men and women to support, empathize with, rally around, validate and most importantly: BELIEVE those affected by abuse. In short, it's your tribe. There are blogs to track each other’s progress, forums to discuss issues, collaborative books to contribute to, stories, polls ... and ...

SECOND, The Wordslinger is also the title of the first ever video game designed to ease the stress of being involved with an abuser. Playing the game will convert the negative energy of your abuser into positive power. Free, educational and available online only, The Wordslinger Game will be launched very soon after the New Year. It'd be wonderful to have the online community teaming with activity when this happens. Please go check it out!

THIRD, I've finished my first novel and it's currently being edited at my publisher ... which, by the way, is a truly agonizing process. It will be in print on the first day of spring.

FORTH, thank you for defending me against the mean, ignorant network of abusers that post comments about me here. Your support truly helps. As I work with other women escaping abusive relationships, I now see very clearly that it's ONLY the intelligence and compassion of strangers that keep them sane and safe.


Anonymous said...

I have just discovered your website. It has been extremely helpful to put a name to what was actually happening to me. I left the relationship in June, but was still hoping it could be fixed. After the separation, we went to counseling he walked out of the second session and canceled the third session which I attended. Then he denied that it happened that way(making crazy). Anyway, your website has been extremely helpful, but how to I begin to heal and get my spirit back.

1:22 AM, December 31, 2005  
Anonymous said...

After months of therapy, things hadn't gotten better, so I started logging events to keep things straight. His perception and mine were always different and he'd claim his memory was right. So, at the last therapy session, I brought out the log and he hit the roof. Called me names, yelled, walked out, came back, and she finally suggested we take a break for a week.
I'm remarkably calm now as he's abiding by the rules. He's seeking one on one therapy to resolve his aloneness issues aka: insecurity.

It's nice to know that I'm not crazy and anxious. Since the time-off, I've felt more energetic and not anxious. I love this guy but am unwilling to live with him and be subjected to his abuse. Thanks for putting it out there like you did, it really helped me to see what methods are used to keep me off balance. :)

5:51 PM, January 15, 2006  
Bessie said...

This website is amazing. It is unlike anything else on this topic that I have found. On a good day I admit that I am in an abusive relationship- other days I am in denial. Its nice to read other people's stories and find commonality in them.

8:44 AM, March 06, 2006  
Anonymous said...

On good days, I feel maybe I can stay and handle this...then, I am quickly reminded why the deepest part of my soul is crying out for me to leave. I awake everyday and feel the pain. I say to myself this may be the day I get enough strength to leave, but that day has not come yet. I know it will, but my self-esteem has diminished as so many of us going through this abuse knows all to well.
I am thankful I found this website a few days ago. I don't feel as alone as I once did. What a great support system. I will pray for all of you experiencing abuse and please do the same for me.

6:48 PM, May 07, 2006  
Canadian stranger said...

Thank you for sharing your experiences with the public. I found the site informative and useful, especially the section that analyzed abusive dialogue. This has helped me to see my behaviour in a new (and somewhat shocking) light, and to understand the changes that I need to make.

I am a woman that has at times been psychologically abusive to my (male) partners. This is not uncommon, but it is under-reported. I feel that your site has the potential to help a lot of people like myself to make change, and to facilitate this, I really believe it is important to use gender neutral language. Not only would this make the site more accessible to men who suffer from abuse (they do exist, trust me), but it would also open it to non-heterosexual couples as well.

I really hope you'll consider this, but even if you don't, the site is a remarkable achievement and an invaluable resource. Thanks again.

6:11 AM, May 29, 2006  
Anonymous said...

Thank you , Thank you!! your web site really helped me realize that "I am not crazy" The "conversations" between Eileen and Sean were almost identical to mine and my husband's. It is amazing and scary that they are so similar. I need the strength to leave. I have two children and have tried everything to make this relationship work. I know it is not my fault, but my spirit has been crushed. I used to have a fairly successful career and I am now a stay at home mom. What do I do?

7:25 PM, July 15, 2006  
Anonymous said...

I fell so alive just in knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light has a name, it is called truth. My journey started 26 years ago I was full of love and happiness. Along the way things have become distorted and confusing. I never gave up hope and always knew deep down inside that I would emerge enlightened and ready to face a new lesson life has to offer. My abuse started in 1980, I was only 16 and my abuser was my high school teacher but today Aug. 4, 2006 I now have the knowledge and ability to close this chapter and start a new one. If I hadn't stumbled upon this web site God only knows how many more years I would have stayed with my abuser. I have a long road ahead of me and it won't be easy but with the support and prayers from all of my fellow tribe members I can and will accomplish the impossible. Thank you from the deepest depth of my soul.

11:38 AM, August 04, 2006  
Anonymous said...

This site is amazing. On the night that I discovered it I was researching a history of marriage, only to gain insights into my own relationship. Like the previous blogger, I had been a happy and productive young woman 25 years ago, when I entered a relationship with an older man who belitted my dreams, blamed me for his pain and called me names. I became severely depressed, often confused and unproductive. I could not understand how someone whom I loved so much and who claimed to love me, could simultaneously dislike me. I now understand it. I left the relationship this morning and I am looking forward to finding myself and nurturing the loving person who did not deserve to be treated in such an unloving way. Thanks.

11:30 AM, September 15, 2006  
Anonymous said...

I also just found your web site and found myself crying all the way thru it. I have been in an abuse relationship for 3 years. I am planning my exscape as we speak. I feel like I have served time in prison and I am going to be paroled. I have moved my things into my daughters room untill I can get out. I have left twice before but failed at staying gone. I will never look back again. I cant leave for a few weeks so I will have to continue to be degraded,cussed at and blamed untill I can walk out. I pray for each of you and please pray for me. I to live in a town where I moved for him. I have no friends and I feel so alone and lost!!!!!

2:35 PM, October 04, 2006  

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